Cultural Confusion - Mike's Story

I was born into a middle class family in Sweden. Although we were quite well off my parents instilled in me the need to take care of myself. When I went to university they made me take out a student loan because they said I should learn to be responsible for my own affairs. They did help out though when things got a bit tough financially.

I finally graduated with a BCom majoring in computer science. I got a great job almost immediately as a systems engineer for a large computer company. The starting salary was excellent and for the first time in my life I found out what it was like to have money to spare.

I had been working for just 11 months when Jan a good friend of mine suggested a holiday in Asia. He had heard stories about beautiful beaches, cheap living and wild women. While I’d never thought about visiting Asia I warmed rapidly to the idea. Before I knew it we were sitting on a plane and on our way to Bangkok.

What an unbelievable place. Stinking hot, crazy traffic and sex starved girls everywhere. I couldn't walk down the street without some honey propositioning me. Jan took me to a place called Nana Plaza which is full of Go Go bars – incredible. There must be a thousand girls in this one place and most of them were dancing naked. To be honest I went a little crazy.

In the first three days I slept with 12 women. Now I’m not boasting and anybody can do this in Bangkok. I noticed that most of the guys in these bars were a lot older than me and I found I could quite often get a girl to go with me for free. I guess I’m reasonably good looking and quite fit, so I seemed to be in big demand. I always had to pay a bar fine but 500 baht wasn’t too much of a strain. I like to think I don’t have to pay for it and was pleased when the girls wanted to stay with me because they liked me and not because I was flashing a big wad of cash in their face.

On the fourth day we headed down to Pattaya, a beach resort just south of Bangkok. This place seemed to have even more girls than Bangkok if that’s possible. I was ready by now to slow the pace down a little. To be honest I was close to exhaustion and a bit of relaxing on the beach seemed like a great idea. That night we went bar hopping and I met Noi. What a sweet heart.

She was just 21 and we seemed to click right away. I paid her bar fine which was a ridiculous 200 baht. As I really liked her I decided to give her a treat and took her to one of the most expensive restaurants in Pattaya and then out dancing. We had a ball and although communication was a bit difficult, with the aid of my trusty phrase book we managed to get by. The next day I decided to keep Noi with me for the rest of my time in Pattaya, so I paid her barfine for the next six days.

Things just got better and better. The sex was great and Noi just couldn’t do enough to make me happy. She even took all my clothes home to wash and iron them. We visited all the touristy places and went bar hopping every night. Jan had a different girl every night and said I was stupid to stick with Noi. I did manage to sneak off to a couple of massage places during the day but was more than happy to stick with Noi each night.

I didn’t want to give Noi any money as it seemed to me it would make our relationship tacky so instead I took her shopping. I got her new clothes and some stuffed toys and a gold chain. She really loved that gold chain.

By the fifth day I had really developed an infatuation with Noi and started talking about the future. I’ve never met anyone like her and was thinking out loud how great it would be if she could come to Sweden and stay with me. Somehow this idle talk turned into a plan and Noi was really keen. We started talking about passports and visa’s. I knew I’d have to go home first and get everything organized. I suggested Noi stop working as a prostitute because the thought of her with some of the fat ugly guys you see in Pattaya really made me feel ill.

I talked to the mamasan at Noi’s bar and she said Noi could work as a bartender and get a regular monthly salary if she liked. I could tell Noi really liked the idea, as she obviously hated selling herself. Our last night together was spectacular and the next day as the taxi whisked us back to Bangkok I felt really sad to be leaving. Jan said I was crazy and pussy whipped and I guess he was right but I just couldn’t see it that way.

We had two more days of carousing in Bangkok before we headed back to Sweden and normality. Back home it all seemed like some weird dream. Was I really going to bring a Thai prostitute into my home? Explaining that to my parents was not going to be easy so I decided to keep it just between Jan and I for the time being.

A visit to the immigration service confirmed that getting a three-month visa for Noi would be no problem. Although my job was quite well paid it was going to take a few months to save up enough for me to return to Thailand and pay for Noi’s trip back to Sweden. For three months I saved every spare penny. Going out with local girls was boring after the wild times in Thailand so I was happy to stay home and count the days until I could return to Noi. I phoned her every week but it was quite difficult to understand her on the phone. Sometimes when I rang, she wasn’t in the bar. It made me wonder if she was still on the game but I felt sure she was remaining true to me.

Jan gave me a copy of a book he brought in Thailand called Hello My Big Big Honey. It was all about how Thai bar girls ripped of stupid foreigners. Some girls have three or four boyfriends sending them money while they still work as prostitutes. It did make me think, but as Noi had never asked me for money, apart from 3000 baht for her passport, I felt sure she was different from the girls in the book.

Finally the day arrived for my return to Thailand. I couldn’t resist spending a couple of days in Bangkok before heading down to Pattaya to hook up with Noi. Nana Plaza was still rocking.

The smile on Noi’s face when I walked into her bar made all the saving and scrimping worthwhile. We picked up right where we left off and things were great. I asked Noi to quit her job so I wouldn’t have to pay a bar fine everyday. It seemed really tacky somehow and I couldn’t see why I should make her boss rich.

That night after a great session, Noi told me she wanted me to visit her family in Isaan. I wasn’t really that keen as I’d sort of planned a week of fun in Pattaya before heading for home. Noi was quite insistent though and I thought it would be an interesting experience so I agreed.

When I saw the bus that was going to transport us to the boondocks I knew I’d made a mistake. Tiny uncomfortable seats, no air conditioning and absolutely packed. Twelve hours of hell. Once we were North of Bangkok the only food available was disgusting and it was so hot I felt sick for most of the trip.

Finally we arrived in Noi’s village. Talk about primitive! The house we were to stay in was basically four walls a floor and a roof through which you could see the stars. No furniture and the toilet was a hole in the ground. The only shower was a huge bucket of water with a scoop for throwing the water over yourself.

It appeared that the whole village had turned out to greet us and I had to spend a small fortune buying everyone beer and whiskey. People kept appearing from every nook and cranny and all had to be supplied with booze at my expense. It was actually quite a fun party but I spent too much money. Then when I was actually feeling quite merry, Noi dropped her little bombshell. Apparently it is a no no for unmarried people to sleep together in the village so I got to share a room with a bunch of unmarried guys. No nooky for me that night. No beds either just a mat on the floor.

I woke up the next morning feeling like shit. After breakfast of watery rice (yuk) a cousin or uncle of Noi wanted to speak with me. His English was quite good, as he had spent some time in Bangkok working for an English company.

After a bit of small talk he got straight to the point. How much was I going to pay for Noi? I couldn’t believe it. He was actually trying to sell her to me. He had a hard luck story of how Noi’s mother was in financial strife and I was to be the great white savior who would bale her out of the financial poo. What a shock! I told him there was no way I was paying anything for Noi. She loved me and I loved her, not her mother – end of story.

Uncle was not happy and said I didn’t understand Thai customs. I understood all right! Everyone in the village was intending to part me from as much of my money as they possibly could. Maybe they thought I was stupid but there was no way I was falling for this scam

Somehow everything seemed to click into place and I felt like I’d been manipulated into this bizarre situation. All I wanted to do was get away from this hell hole as fast as possible. I found Noi and told her what had happened. She only looked surprised when I said I wasn’t falling for it. What’s more I was going back to Bangkok today and she could come with me or forget the whole thing.

Well Noi was quite upset and the family were looking at me like I was a mass murderer or something. After a few tears Noi agreed to return with me to Bangkok. For the nine hour bus ride she hardly said a word. She was obviously sulking because I hadn’t coughed up a vast sum of cash for her family. She kept giving me dirty looks and then crying quietly to herself. The more I thought about it the more sure I became that it was all a set up. Fleece the farang is the name of the game. I probably wasn’t the first but at least I hadn’t fallen for it.

After we checked into the hotel I had to get some time alone so I told Noi I was going off to think about things and maybe she should do the same. Somehow I found my way back to Nana Plaza and ended up drinking too much and taking one of the Go Go girls to a short-time hotel right in the Plaza.

As I walked back to the hotel I realized I’d just about made a terrible mistake with Noi. She was a prostitute and her only intention was to make money. She considered me to be like an ATM. Push the right buttons and money comes out. I was fairly sure she had been sleeping with other guys while I was back in Sweden as well. Obviously the whole thing was a disaster and I had to straighten it out. When I got back to the room we had a huge fight. I accused her of sleeping with other guys and trying to rip me off as well. She didn’t deny it so I guess it was true. She spent the rest of the night in the bathroom. She said she couldn’t sleep with me anymore. I guess she’d figured out that my money was staying firmly in my pocket.

In the morning I gave her the money to return to Pattaya and we said out strained good byes.

I still had a few days left in Thailand so I made the most of it. This is one wild country and as long as you don’t let your heart get in the way of your brain, its heaps of fun.

I know I’ll be back in Thailand again but I’ll never fall for another Thai girl.